The very nature of a ceremony of any type is that it reflects a transformation in your life. Ceremonies happen throughout your life-stages from baby blessings or namings when you are first introduced to the world, to yearly birthdays and anniversaries, then coming of age ceremonies to weddings and even funerals. We celebrate marriages to commemorate them, to honor those around us who have helped us to this point, to party and have fun and most definitely to pay respect to the significance of the change in status in our life. As a marriage officiant and celebrant, a big part of my work is to create a ceremony that has gravitas and meaningfulness. A goal of mine is to give you a deep feeling that you are being transformed through the ceremony—transformed from being single to being coupled and changed energetically into a new family unit.
And yet, the day goes by so quickly after having spent months planning that you might miss some of the magical feeling of being transformed. So what can you do to help ensure that you fully feel the transformative effect of getting wed? What will help you to embody the transformation that a wedding ceremony symbolically expresses? Here are three tips to make your wedding day transformational.
Tip #1: Take your time. One of the problems with modern day living is that we are all so busy. We hardly experience one thing before we are off to the next. A simple technique to help fully experience and understand the importance of a marriage ceremony is to slow down. Savor each moment as long as possible and don’t be worried about the next thing you have to do. Slow down when you speak your vows—even if you are nervous and think the ceremony feels too long. Part of why slowing down is so helpful is it gives you an opportunity to be fully present to that moment in time. Being present means that you are listening to the words of the ceremony, listening to the vows from your love and listening to the heart-felt congratulations from all your friends and family. Take your time and let everything really sink in.
Tip #2: Be alone with your new spouse. During the wedding celebration you will be busy and dancing and bubbling over with all that is going on. Try to plan to take a break or two during the festivities and find a quiet spot where you can be alone with your love. Look into each other’s eyes and say, “You are my husband!” or “You are my wife!” Without guests around you can relish that feeling of being connected in a new way to your soul partner. You and your new spouse are transformed because you found each other and have committed to changing the direction of your life together.
Tip #3: Give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel. Weddings are happy occasions with lots of joy and excitement. And yet they also can bring up a whole mixture of feelings from fear to anticipation to disappointment. Don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t feeling as happy each moment as you thought you would. Marriage is a big change and all emotions are welcome to the party. Part of transformation is saying goodbye to what came before. Change can be difficult even when it is what you want deep in your heart. So give yourself a break and let your feelings be whatever they may be. All of your feelings contribute to the transformative nature of your wedding.
The transformation that a marriage creates does not end on your wedding day. From now one, your life is on a path with another person and you will have chances to experience new things and make more changes in your life. As each day unfolds, your life is altered because you are on a journey with another person, a person you love and respect and who loves and respects you back. Enjoy the transformative ride.
XOXO Rachel
Wondrance 