Post-Wedding Blues Bringing You Down?

Watching SunsetWeddings are such a busy time—so full of stress, so full of highs and so full of joy. Then you’re off on your honeymoon to relax and unwind from the big day and enjoy each other’s company. Honeymoons are wonderful days often unlike everyday life because you are newlyweds and being treated like royalty from everyone around you on your trip. What happens when you get back to normal life? No matter what, you will feel different as a married couple and the joyfulness of the day will always be there for you. You might find, however, that you are let down after all the excitement and unsure of what’s next. Yes, your wedding is over—now what? Here are some tips to start off your married days on the right foot and carry the magic of your wedding forward.

Give yourself at least a week to unwind. You might be going on a honeymoon right after your wedding (see caution in next point), but even if you are, don’t plan to get very much done for a week after the honeymoon. If you can, plan to take off a few extra days from work. At the least, don’t over commit or over schedule yourself your first days back. For instance, don’t try to send thank you notes right away—you have a month or more to do that according to most etiquette advice. Just be sure to keep track of who gave you what and at least a week after the event, set aside some time to write the notes with your spouse.

HammockTake a vacay. Well, yes it is true that you are probably going on a honeymoon and that counts as vacation, but be careful not to do too much. Sure you are dying to try all the watersports that the resort offers or you were planning to visit every single sight listed on the top 100 things to see. But just say no! Only do as much as you find enjoyable. Relax and do nothing as much as possible. That’s a real vacation.

Play with your new spouse. As obvious at that sounds, you married your love for a good reason—you want to spend the rest of your life together. The rest of your life begins now so stop whatever you are doing (after you finish this article) and go hug your new husband or wife and do something you enjoy together. You’ve dreamed of being married—now start living your dream! Remember those vows you just made—why not say them out loud to your partner just to refresh why you got married in the first place?

NappingGet loads of sleep. Weddings are a stressful experience and one of the biggest impacts of stress is how well you are sleeping. Whether you were just too excited to sleep or you were worried about flubbing your vows, you probably are at least a bit sleep deprived after the big day (not to mention all the partying). Give yourself permission to sleep in for a change. Take a nap in the middle of the day. Make a game of trying to get 8+ hours of sleep for 10 days in a row. Your body will thank you.

Connect with other new brides or grooms. There are on-line groups or you can even start your own meetup group in your neighborhood of recent newlyweds. It is always helpful to talk to others who are in the same boat. You can share your experience and help each other—and make new friends in the process.

Star FishAfter you have taken some time off, get planning something new! It certainly doesn’t have to be anything as big as a wedding, but having a project to organize and get fully engaged in can really shift your energy to positive and forward looking. There are so many great projects that you can do with your new partner. If you both like to cook, how about testing every recipe from that new cookbook you received from your cousin Sue? Are you an aspiring HGTV host? Get decorating. Or maybe you have always wanted to run or bike a race—start your 10K training plan now!

I offer this final piece of advice: be kind to yourself! Whatever you are feeling at this point, don’t be hard on yourself. Maybe you are surprised that you feel sad or relieved or angry or something else. Know that whatever you are feeling, it is not uncommon to experience lots of ups and downs after a big and important event.

Just remember that you are not alone in feeling down after a big and important event. Give yourself the support you need and over time your post-wedding day blues will eventually pass and you will bask in the glow of your new marriage.

XOXO Rachel

Published by Rachel Mueller-Lust

I'm a writer, executive & life coach, wedding officiant & Life-Cycle Celebrant®, psychologist, media researcher and teacher. I explore language, relationship & connection, living a fulfilling life and the beauty & wonder of the world.

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