Today’s Wedding Wednesday blog is the fourth in a series of posts on topics you should consider and discuss before you get married (click to read #1, #2 & #3). As with all these topics for conversation, remember that you love your partner and want to understand how they feel, so be calm and caring in your words.
# 4. How do you manage finances?
Money is frequently counted as one of the most difficult topics of conversation among spouses and in families in general. My suggestion is to set aside some time to have a conversation about finances when you are not in the middle of an argument/debate/whatever about something you bought or want to buy. The goal is to take some of the heat out of the topic and give you both a chance to understand each other’s perspective about money.
What you are really trying to learn in this conversation is whether you have different styles of money management. Here are some questions to get you started.
How do you feel about money—fearful, secure, or something else? Are you a cautious spender who saves every penny and plans how you spend your money? Do you love to shop? Do you have credit card debt? What are your financial plans and goals? How important are big-ticket items in your life? Do you track how you spend your money? Do you have a regular paycheck? Do you contribute to your company 401K and/or do you have a savings account? Do you have outstanding loans?
If you find that your approaches to managing money are different, you may want to consider working with a financial adviser who can help you bridge your gaps. But know that as with all these topics of conversation, it will be much easier for your relationship if you are simpatico and similar in style.
Finance is just one of the many issues that are important in life, so take the time now to have the heart to heart conversations about this and other important topics. And don’t forget to revisit these conversations throughout your married life. I wish you great abundance in life!