Today’s Wedding Wednesday blog is the second in a series of posts on topics you should discuss before you get married (click to read #1). As with all of these topics, find a location to be with your partner where you feel safe and comfortable and give yourselves enough time to really get into a deep conversation. There are no right or wrong answers and you might not see eye to eye so these conversations will probably bring up a lot of emotion. It is important that you are clear about your feelings on the topic and that you are also open and listening intently to your partner’s perspective. And most of all, be kind and gentle with each other.
#2. Children—to have or not to have?
Perhaps an obvious topic for conversation, the decision of whether to have kids or not isn’t as simple as yes or no. Let’s say you decide not to have children, you may want to discuss how you handle when family and friends make inquiries (and they will).
Let’s say that you decide to have kids, there are many issues to discuss. How soon after you are married do you want to build a family? How many children do you want? What will you do if you have fertility issues? Will you consider medical options? Will you consider adoption? If yes to adoption, will you consider adopting from another country? How will you raise the children (religion, education, parenting practices, childcare)?
The clearer you are about your wants and feelings on the topic, the better you will be able to navigate whatever choices you make together about children. I wish you a heartfelt and productive conversation.